Thursday, July 30, 2015

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...

As I've mentioned a time or two in other posts, my mojo has been off this year. Not just off. Missing. Totally in hiding. Lying on a beach somewhere in a country that has no extradition. And I've been left here, fumbling around with my writing, trying to figure out how to get back on track. Then it occurred to me. I never left the track. It's still there. What I've done is throw up HUGE mental roadblocks. That's right. I said me. Mojo had nothing to do with it. (Technically, I said 'I', but proper grammar and all that.)

I'm a worrier. I try not to be. It's not a fun thing to be. I've read all the wisdom about "not borrowing trouble", "you can't predict the future", blah, blah, blah. It's in my nature. I'm a worrier. I prefer to think of it as being a realist - seeing exactly what's in front of me and going from there. But sometimes you need a little faith ~ hope ~ wishful thinking, whatever you want to call it; a little optimism that everything will work out. So that's what I'm working on. Relying a little more on chance than on fact.

I think there needs to be a balance, and I'll be the first to admit, I'm a bit top-heavy, or bottom-heavy, as the case may be. I let situations stop me before they occur because I can't see a way to make them work. And that's what I've done this year with my writing. Oh, the writing part still happens on a semi-daily basis. It's the production of the books that's slowing me down. There are factors that go into publishing a book, factors that I can't see beyond, and rather than take a deep breath and trust that they'll be there when I need them, I sputter and stall, wondering what the point is of having a completed book if I can't publish it at that moment. And it took me more than half a year to realize it, that I am the one slowing me down, stumbling over roadblocks that I put up. Slow learner here.

But at least I've realized it. Better late than never, right? More importantly, I can do something about it, knock down those roadblocks, or climb over them, or better yet, close my eyes and wish them away. Because that's all they are...invisible barriers that my mind created. And what my mind created, my mind can change, reshape, mold into opportunity instead of misfortune. Hey, I think I hear my mojo calling.

Nice tan!

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