Saturday, January 27, 2018

It's that time of year...

I've lost people in my life.  Both sets of grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, and more furbabies than I can count.  But none have affected me as deeply as the loss of my father.

It'll be six years mid-February since my dad died.  Six years since I've heard his voice or felt his arms wrapped around me.  No...that's not true.  Dad visits me once in a while in my dreams and there are times, I swear, that I feel him hug me with the same strength and love he possessed when he was alive.  I love those dreams, for I truly believe his spirit is dropping by to say hi.

The man Dad was made me the woman I am.  His strength, his perseverance, his affinity for animals, his smile.  I miss him so damn much!

Some years, the anniversary of his death doesn't bother me much.  Oh, sure, I get a bit teary, but I'm able to go about my business without too much emotional upheaval.  Others, like this year for some reason I cannot fathom, send me into a tailspin. 

I'm moody, depressed, sad beyond belief.  I've been dreaming of him almost every night for more than a week.  Is he trying to tell me something?  Convey some message he thinks I need to know?  I'm listening, Dad.  I am.  Or has he merely stepped up his visits because he knows I'm having a hard time of it this year?

Dad died before I began writing.  He never had the chance to hold one of my books in his hand or read one of my interviews.  For those of you who don't know, my pen name is a tribute to him - his first name is Raymond.  Also, Abby's Heart is dedicated to him, as I released it on the second anniversary of his death.  My dad is so much a part of my writing life and I can only hope that I've made him proud.

I love you, Dad, and I miss you so much!  Thank you for being the person you were and for being such an influential part of my life.  You were a good teacher, an incredible role model, and a great friend. 

You still are...
  

Monday, January 15, 2018

On writing authentically...

I've read several posts and articles lately suggesting that authors should be 'writing for the reader' and letting reader expectations dictate the plot of the story.  Now, I don't discount the importance of keeping readers happy.  Without them, our books would be nothing more than words on a page.  What I disagree with is the notion that authors have a responsibility to pen their stories following trope-specific guidelines, and never veer from the script.  How boring!

The way I look at it, I owe my readers an engaging, entertaining story; one that elicits feelings of joy and doubt and suspense and love (in the case of my romances).  But I also owe them something else.  Honesty.  They deserve to know that the words they're reading came from the depths of my soul, not from some how-to manual on writing the perfect book.

It's okay to shake things up, take a chance, go in a different direction with your manuscript.  Will some readers hate it?  Possibly, but let's be honest.  Does every single reader out there love what you write anyway?  Judging by the 1- and 2-star reviews on some of my books, that would be a HELL NO!!  Do you run the risk of alienating readers by writing authentically?  Of course, but see my first question.  It's impossible to make all of the people happy all of the time, so take risks, take a chance, write in a new direction rather than writing to the market.

Now, before the comments start rolling in that I'm trashing other authors, let me be clear - I'm not.  I believe, and have always believed, that each writer should create the storiy that speaks to them.  It's not my place to tell anyone what words they should or shouldn't send out into the universe.  Lord knows, I don't let anyone tell me what mine should be.  But I hate seeing new authors who've yet to publish ask for advice and be told "you should be writing X, Y, and Z.  That's what readers expect."  How about giving readers something they don't expect?  Some twist that only you can devise because it's part of who you are.  Stop trying to make your books be exactly like all the others out there and rather let the words flow through your soul to the paper (or keyboard, or dictation device.  You get my point.)  Be you.

One thing I've never been successful at is conforming to - well - anything.  My historical western romances aren't historical enough.  My contemporary romances are neither sweet nor erotic.  None of my books fall squarely into a specific genre, and while that presents a challenge finding readers, I'm satisfied with the stories I've told.  They are exactly what they're supposed to be.  Mine.

Stop worrying about creating the story readers expect.  Instead, give them a story that they'll love because it came authentically from you.  Be bold with your words.  Be confidant that what you write will find an audience.  Love your words because they truly are a reflection of you.

Now, go write that book!




Friday, January 5, 2018

Redefining the term 'blue-haired old lady'...

There was a time in society, in my lifetime, as a matter of fact, when it was unheard of for a woman over the age of 50 to dye her hair electric blue.  Come to think of it, it wasn't that acceptable for women under the age of 50, either.  I'm so glad those days are over!  One of the things I enjoy about growing older is how the norms have changed - for the better, in most cases.  But even if society (or my peers) have a problem with it, I don't really give a damn, because I've decided life's too short not to try new things.

I've wanted to dye my hair blue for a few years, but I refrained.  One reason was due to my upbringing. (I can't imagine either of my grandmothers sporting a non-conventional 'do, although I think they both would've rocked the look!)  The other was how I viewed myself as an adult.  I told myself it was silly; dyeing my hair one of the colors of the rainbow was something teenagers do, not mature women.  But you know what?  I'm still going to be 50 if my hair is blue or brown or silver or if I'm bald, so what in the hell am I waiting for?

As you can see by the pic, I was conservative with my dyeing endeavor.  The color is subtle.  There are two reasons for this.  One, I didn't want to do too much until I could see what it would look like.  And, two, I'm too lazy to bleach my hair first.  The dye would've shown up a lot brighter if I'd followed that step.

It's okay, though.  I'm happy with it, and, next time (yes, there will be a next time) I'll make the effort to strip some of my natural color from my hair before beginning the dyeing process.  Or wait for more silver to grow in.  Either way works for me.

In the meantime, I like my new look.  It makes me feel rebellious!  I know, I know, it doesn't take much. lol.  Hey, at least it's not permanent like a tattoo!

So, which term are you going to redefine in 2018?  Time's not going backwards, you know.  We're all getting older, whether we want to admit it or not.  Might as well try something you've always wanted to do.  It's okay to start small.  You can't get much smaller than a half dozen, 1/2 inch blue streaks in your hair.

Maybe I'll go with purple next time...




Monday, January 1, 2018

2018, oh, how I've yearned for you! 

As years go, 2017 wasn't all that terrible, but it also wasn't the best on the books.  So I'm viewing this new year with high expectations.  Time truly does go by in the blink of an eye, and I need to make the most of it.  For instance, it seems only yesterday that I embarked on this writer's journey of mine when it's actually been more than four years.  I loathe thinking that another four will go by leaving me to wonder if I could've made better use of the seconds, minutes, hours each day bestows upon me.

I have big plans this year.  Huge plans.  Epic.  And I'm determined to accomplish them.  Better yet, I WILL accomplish them!  Because the sand is slipping through the hourglass faster than any of us imagine, and in a heartbeat, I'll be looking back on my life, evaluating the choices I made.  I don't want 'wasting time' to be one of them.

Don't wait to live your dream.  Take the first step.  Set things in motion.  Get the ball rolling.  Whichever idiom works for you, use it to take charge of your destiny.  Your life won't change overnight.  It might not even change much in four years.  But the time will go by anyway, so you might as well spend it working at what you love most.

Here's wishing everyone realizes their dream in 2018.

Happy New Year!