Something's been bothering me...

A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine and mentioned that I'd joined a new group on Facebook.  We talked about it for awhile, the pros and cons of being a member, and then I mentioned the name of the organizer.  My friend's reply was that she'd heard from so-and-so that the organizer is not a nice person and I should be careful in my dealings with this person.  My immediate response was "Thanks for the head's up."

I'm ashamed of myself.

My immediate response SHOULD have been - "Thank you, but I reserve judgment until I get to know someone."  Because I do.  I appreciate my friend's concern.  She's looking out for my best interests.  It seems that nowadays, especially on social media, you can't be too careful with whom you interact.  And, I've dealt first-hand with some who've turned out to be less than good people - in my opinion anyway, though plenty of others would dispute my viewpoint.  Hell, there're even some out there who don't like me!  I know, shocker, right? 

But it seems that, as a society, we're quick to form our opinions based on how someone else thinks or feels about the subject.  And that bothers me.  As my mother can attest, I don't like anyone telling me what to do or how to feel or what to think.  There's a reason I'm an indie author.  I like to make my own decisions, even when they come back to bite me in the ass.  I'm not disregarding the wisdom of paying attention to a cautionary tale, but I do believe we should form opinions based on first-hand knowledge.

Another shocker - we aren't perfect.  There's not a single one of us out there who hasn't made a mistake (or two, or twelve) at some point in their life.  A mistake that hurt other people, whether by chance or intent.  A lapse in judgment for which they are trying to make amends.  We all want a second chance, don't we?

Maybe this person did do the things being talked about.  Maybe it was their intention to deceive.  Maybe they're a nasty person.  Or, maybe, it was a misunderstanding, poor communication, or they just plain got in over their head.  I don't know.  I wasn't there.  That's not the point.  The point is, we should each form our opinions based on our own experiences and interactions.

Think of the worst mistake you've ever made in your life.  Is that one transgression how you want others to view you for the rest of your life?  How you want them to talk about you to their friends?  I don't.

This isn't a post in defense of that organizer.  As I stated, I don't know the person, have had zero interaction with them, had never even heard the name until I joined the group, and, to be honest, may never get to know them.  But until that person directly harms me or someone I'm close to, I'm going to reserve judgment on their character.  It's how I want others to treat me.

You have the power to make up your own mind. 

Trust your instincts.